The full scale of what I'm doing is taking effect now and my nerves are starting to shake a little. As the time of departure nears, I can admit that I'm scared. Moving away from everything you know and everyone you know can really make a person think about all the things that could go wrong and the things you will miss. Now is the time to find courage.
It's a strange feeling to be overwhelmingly excited and overwhelmingly scared. I don't think I was even this nervous when I left home for college. I was still with hometown friends and my family still supported me and I knew the next time I would see them for specific holidays. But this, this is different. I'm completely clueless as to when the next time I'll see my friends and family again. For once, I will really be on my own.
When I get overwhelmingly excited about this trip though, that is when I know it is worth all the stress and saddness about leaving the things I know.
It's funny how many things we take for granted until we are about to be pulled away from it all. I will miss the land (even though I thought I was sick of the same place after 5 years), I will miss my friends and family (even though I thought I was sick of it after 23....I joke!). But I know that what I am doing is helping me become the person I want to be. I don't want to take things for granted, and I want to experience everything as if it was the last time I will see it! That is the kind of life I want. So with as much fear as there is about the unknown, I will not let it rule me. Whatever happens along the way whether "good" or "bad" will be part of my experience and I wouldn't take any of it away.
-K.P.
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